Etiquette in Korea

Hate it when rude out-of-towners show up and ruin your day? Don’t be that person. This guide will help you navigate Korean etiquette like a pro.

The moment you leave your neighborhood, city, or country, you become the outsider. The one who doesn’t know the rules or the way things are done.

In Korea, unless you have Korean heritage, your foreignness is immediately visible. Why? Because nearly 97% of the population is Korean. Culturally, racially, and historically, Koreans are deeply tied to their land. There are both pros and cons to this.

The bad news: You’re different. No matter how fluent you become or how much you learn about Korean customs, you’ll always be seen as an outsider to some degree.
The good news: You get an “otherness” pass. Many of the societal rules Koreans are expected to follow won’t apply to you.

That said, don’t mistake leniency for a free pass to unleash the kind of chaos spring breakers bring to beach towns. Respect matters, no matter where you are.

Quick Hits

Always give and receive items with two hands.
Respect personal space, but don’t expect it in crowded areas.
Greet others with a modest bow or a two-handed handshake.
Be patient with older generations—they may seem less polite by modern standards.

Korean to Korean

As a foreigner, Koreans don’t expect you to follow rules you’ve never learned. They understand you’re different. However, Korean etiquette operates within a web of unspoken signals, hierarchical boundaries, and social subtleties that can be challenging to navigate.

Confucian Hierarchy

In the Western world, the philosophies of Plato and Socrates shape societal values. In Korea, the foundation rests on the teachings of Confucius, the Chinese philosopher who codified a framework for harmony and order through a series of classical texts.

Confucianism emphasizes harmony—in the home, in governance, and even in the cosmos. One way to achieve harmony? Assign everyone a role, a duty, and a place within a structured hierarchy.

In historical Korea, this manifested as a rigid caste system, where proximity to royal bloodlines determined one’s standing and opportunities. While modern Korea has shed its caste system, hierarchical relationships still define much of daily life, from family dynamics to workplace culture.

Confucianism at Home

The family unit is a microcosm of Confucian ideals. Traditionally, the father is the head of the household, responsible for major decisions and providing for the family. The mother manages the home and advises her husband. Children study, help with chores, and obey their parents’ guidance.

At first glance, this may sound like a typical patriarchal structure. But Confucianism adds an emphasis on balance and harmony.

If the father becomes authoritarian—blowing the family savings on a Porsche and a midlife-crisis facelift—he disrupts the harmony. If the mother neglects household duties to host endless writing workshops with her friends, she fractures the balance. And if the daughter rejects her parents’ wishes, skips college, and pursues an apprenticeship in metallurgy, well… let’s just say harmony isn’t making it to the family dinner table.

In Confucianism, harmony isn’t just a guiding principle—it’s the glue that holds everything together. Without it, the structure collapses.

I Am You, You Are We, We Are Me

The emphasis on harmony fosters a collective mindset in Korea. While Westerners often rely on individual pronouns like “I” or “me,” Koreans frequently use “we” to describe actions and experiences.

This isn’t the royal we—the kind where a king declares, “We’re invading France,” while his court quietly wonders, “We are?” Instead, Koreans use “we” to express a shared perspective, keeping group harmony (inhwa, 인화) intact.

For example, a simple dinner plan can become a collaborative effort:

“Where should we go to eat?” Sam asks.
Minjun replies shyly, “We’re craving some bulgogi.”
“We’re a little low on funds,” Minjun whispers, checking his wallet.
“Bibimbap? It’s cheap, and we can all get something we like,” Minjun suggests.

This approach balances individual preferences while maintaining group harmony. In social settings, it’s explicit. In business, it’s often implied.

The Company Family

In Korea, companies operate like families. The boss is the “father,” subordinates are the “children,” and coworkers are “siblings.” This familial structure extends Confucian ideals into the workplace, where maintaining harmony is key.

Let’s say the windshield-installing robot is programming every car incorrectly. Should you tell the boss right away? Probably not. Calling out his mistake might damage his kibun (키분; pride) and disrupt the social balance.

Instead, timing is everything. Wait until 4:55 PM—just before quitting time. Casually mention that the robot might need an adjustment. Better yet, wait until he’s footing the bill at a company dinner or even later, at the noraebang (노래방; karaoke). After a few rounds of soju, you could whisper the issue while helping him into a taxi. By then, he may be too tipsy to take it personally.

The Korean Superpower: Nunchi

Delivering bad news without disrupting harmony requires nunchi (눈치), often translated as “eye-power” or “situational awareness.” This skill allows Koreans to read the room, gauge the mood, and pick the perfect moment to speak or act.

Someone with exceptional nunchi knows when to:

Tell their mom they got an A- on a science test.
Confess to their dad that they crashed his bike.
Inform their boss of a typo in an important report.

In Korea, nunchi isn’t just a soft skill—it’s an essential tool for navigating the unspoken rules of harmony.

Some Context

Cultural scholars often divide societies into two categories: low-context and high-context cultures. This distinction can help you understand the nuances of Korean social interactions.

Low-context cultures value directness and individualism. For example:
“Larry, you stink. Everyone smells you from the parking lot. And that sriracha-stained Hawaiian shirt? A crime against humanity. Your barber must’ve used a hedge trimmer.”
High-context cultures rely on subtlety and indirectness to maintain harmony.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Smith. We deeply admire your unique sense of style and the vibrant energy you bring to the office. We’ll use your example to inspire improvements in our own hygiene and fashion choices.”

In Korea—a high-context culture—people prioritize group harmony over individual expression. Success often depends on navigating unspoken rules and respecting the “invisible system.”

The Invisible System

Imagine you’re a junior employee attending a company dinner—a regular part of Korean work culture. You arrive early with colleagues and are shown to a private room where the banchan (반찬; side dishes) are already arranged.

Tim sits at the head of the table, unaware of the invisible rules. Your nunchi (눈치; situational awareness) kicks in, and you politely remind him:

“The boss always sits facing the door.”
“The second-in-command sits next to him.”

When the boss arrives, everyone stands. He takes his seat, and the rest follow suit. The waiter scans the room to determine who should be served first. You subtly nod toward the boss, and the waiter places the first plate of samgyeopsal (삼겹살; pork belly) and drinks before him.

Dinner begins. As the youngest, you take on certain duties:

Pour beer and soju for the boss, using both hands to show respect.
Monitor the grill, cooking the pork belly until golden, then cutting it into bite-sized pieces.
Ensure the boss’s glass is never empty, refilling it when it drops below a quarter full.

At some point, the boss raises his glass for a toast. Everyone echoes his geon-bae (건배; cheers) and downs their shot of soju. You turn your head away from the boss as you drink—a subtle gesture of deference.

Keep your nunchi sharp. The dinner might transition to noraebang (노래방; karaoke), and the night is far from over.

A Foreigner Amongst Koreans

As a foreigner, you’re not expected to master these invisible rules. Most Koreans will understand that you’re from a different cultural background. If you make a misstep, you’ll likely receive a polite smile, a nod, or even a bit of patience reserved for those lacking nunchi.

But consider this: remember the time you gave your mom a last-minute Mother’s Day card? It wasn’t much, but she loved it. Learning and practicing a few local customs has a similar effect. It won’t make you an expert, but it shows respect and effort—qualities that can earn you goodwill and even admiration.

In the next section, we’ll explore specific norms to help you avoid stepping on toes and, most importantly, save everyone’s kibun (키분; pride).

Touchy Subjects

Cultural norms often dictate the subtle things—how to greet someone, how to part ways, and even how close to stand. When you’re new to Korea, your sense of personal space might feel a little off. Why is someone standing so close? Why is another person so far away?

Social Distancing

In Korea, personal space depends on the relationship:

With acquaintances or strangers: Keep about one meter apart—slightly more than in most English-speaking countries.

With close friends or family: Physical proximity increases. You might see good friends holding hands in public, including teenage girls or older men. This isn’t romantic; it’s a sign of familiarity and trust.

PDA

Despite the abundance of motels lighting up cityscapes, Korea is relatively conservative when it comes to physical affection in public.

Kissing or hugging, even between couples, can make older generations uncomfortable.
A pat on the back might seem friendly to you but intrusive to many Koreans.

In liberal areas like Seoul, there’s more tolerance for PDA, but even there, foreigners locking lips on the subway will likely draw blushes.

LGBTQ Context

Korea’s history with LGBTQ rights is complicated. While areas like Itaewon have LGBTQ-friendly spaces, many Koreans still feel the need to keep their identities private due to societal pressures.

Crowded Spaces

Korea is the 13th most densely populated country in the world—outpacing Japan, China, and India. From packed subways to crowded sidewalks, personal space often takes a back seat to sheer practicality.

At rush hour, prepare for:

Elbows in your stomach.
Knees at your back.
Breaths on your neck.

This isn’t a uniquely Korean phenomenon; it’s life in bustling cities around the world.

Ajummas and Ajusshis

Rapid modernization and economic growth have created a cultural gap between older and younger generations. The terms ajumma (아줌마) and ajusshi (아줌씨) reflect this divide, often used to stereotype older Koreans with traditional, sometimes assertive behaviors.

Ajumma: Often seen as a brash, older woman who isn’t afraid to elbow her way through a market or speak her mind.
Ajusshi: Stereotyped as an older man who might get day-drunk, smoke openly, or gamble under a bridge.

These caricatures stem from different cultural norms:

Confucian values emphasize reverence for elders. If an ajumma or ajusshi cuts you off or demands your seat, it’s often seen as their right.
Historically, lines were rare in Korea. Shoving one’s way to the front was simply the norm in a competitive society.

While these behaviors might come across as rude, understanding their context can help you respond with patience rather than frustration.

Japan

Korea’s history with Japan is fraught with pain and resentment, particularly among older generations. For centuries, Japan attempted to conquer Korea, and during its occupation in the early 20th century, it inflicted widespread atrocities. Women were forced into sexual slavery, men were conscripted into the military, and Koreans were denied basic human rights.

Because of this, comparisons between Korea and Japan are sensitive. While the two nations share some cultural foundations, Koreans pride themselves on their distinct identity.

Younger Koreans may devour anime and enjoy Japanese pop culture, but many older Koreans still boycott Japanese products and harbor deep mistrust due to these historical wounds. When in doubt, it’s best to avoid bringing up Japan in conversation unless you’re sure of your audience.

The Language Game

Korean communication might seem direct or abrupt to outsiders. Facial expressions are often minimized, and personal questions like “How old are you?” or “What do you do for a living?” are common.

This stems from Korea’s Confucian hierarchy. To show the proper respect, one must first establish someone’s social position. For example:

If someone is older or of higher status, formal speech is used.
Adults might say annyeong (안녕; hi) to children but annyeonghaseyo (안녕하세요; hello) to their boss.

A simple gamsa (감사; thanks) becomes gamsahabnida (감사합니다; thank you) for anyone senior to you.

No Bye-Bye

When Koreans end phone calls, they simply hang up. No prolonged goodbyes, no “You hang up first!” It’s considered polite to return your time to you without unnecessary chatter.

Politeness: A Different Take

In Korea’s dense, fast-paced society, certain courtesies—like frequent apologies or acknowledgments—aren’t emphasized as they are in the West:

People often bump into one another without apologizing.
Sneezes don’t elicit a “Bless you.”
Holding the door for a stranger, while appreciated, won’t necessarily earn you a “thank you.”

While this might feel abrupt to outsiders, it’s more about efficiency than rudeness.

Greetings

Every culture has its unique way of saying hello. In Korea, bowing is the traditional greeting:

Deep Bow: Used for formal occasions like funerals or meeting future in-laws, this bow involves kneeling, placing palms flat on the floor, and touching the forehead to the hands.
Respectful Bow: A 45-degree standing bow, hands clasped in front, is typical when greeting elders, teachers, or superiors.
Quick Nod: For casual encounters, like passing a stranger, a slight head tilt suffices.

For Foreigners:

Handshakes are acceptable for men, but use your other hand to hold your wrist as a sign of respect.
Avoid handshakes with women unless initiated by them. A slight bow is usually better.

Absolutely avoid aggressive “Trump-style” handshakes—firm grips and arm-yanking are seen as overly dominant and disrespectful.

The Never-Ever Gestures

There are a few gestures you should avoid in Korea. While people might excuse a foreigner’s mistakes, some missteps can still cause discomfort or even offense.

Look, Ma! Two Hands!

When handing something to someone—or receiving it—always use two hands.

Hold the item with both hands or support your offering/receiving hand by lightly grabbing your wrist.
Using one hand can be seen as dismissive or disrespectful, especially in formal settings.

This custom is deeply ingrained in daily life:

In convenience stores or restaurants, customers hand over debit cards with their wrist supported.
Clerks return change, receipts, or bags using two hands.

In business settings, you may see professionals shake hands while holding their wrist with their free hand. Similarly, business cards are treated with care, received with both hands, inspected respectfully, and gently stored in a pocket or wallet.

The Claw of Death

Avoid these common gestures:

Beckoning: Never curl your finger upward to call someone over. Instead, drape your hand downward and gently wave it toward yourself.
Pointing: Don’t point at people with your finger. Instead, gesture with your whole hand, keeping fingers and palm flat.
Obscene Gestures: Making a fist and placing it between your index and middle finger is a highly offensive gesture that mimics a sexual act.
Patting on the Back: Unless you’re in a close, committed relationship, patting someone on the back—especially the opposite gender—can feel intrusive.
Blowing your nose at the dinner table is considered deeply unpleasant and disrespectful. If you need to, excuse yourself and step away from the table.

When in doubt, err on the side of modesty and respect. Following these small but important rules will help you avoid unintentional faux pas and earn goodwill among your Korean hosts.

Dinner Time

How should you approach dinner in Korea? Hold hands and pray? Dive in without looking up? Neither. Korean mealtime traditions are unique, and knowing them will help you navigate with respect and ease.

Yes (Maybe) Yes

In Korea, declining an invitation—especially from a superior or colleague—is rare. Saying “no” can disrupt harmony, so if your boss asks you to dinner or a coworker invites you over, your best bet is to accept.

Inviting someone yourself? Be aware they might say “yes” even if they’d rather not. It’s part of maintaining social harmony. Likewise, refusing someone else’s invitation could unintentionally cause offense, so tread carefully.

Arrive On Time

Punctuality matters. Showing up late disrespects both the invitation and the social harmony of the group. It’s also seen as wasting others’ time—a cardinal sin in Korea’s fast-paced culture.

Paying the Bill

When it’s time to settle up, who pays depends on the situation:

Company Dinners: The host or senior person usually covers the bill. Older men often shoulder the cost, a vestige of Korea’s patriarchal traditions.
Out with Friends: Dinner is often a two-step affair—food first, then coffee. The person who pays for dinner is repaid when the other picks up the coffee tab.

No Tipping

Tipping isn’t part of Korean culture. If you leave money on the table, it’s likely the waiter will chase after you to return it. The only exception might be telling a taxi driver to “keep the change” for convenience.

Elders First

Respect for elders runs deep in Korean culture:

Elders sit down first.
Elders eat first.
Elders get the best seat at the table.

Always let senior members of the group take the lead during meals.

Drinking Etiquette

Drinking is an integral part of many Korean dinners, with its own set of rules:

Never pour your own drink:
- The youngest or least senior member of the group typically pours drinks for others.
- Once everyone’s glass is filled, someone will pour for the youngest.
Keep glasses full:
- An empty glass signals neglect. If you don’t want more, simply leave your glass full.
Cheers!:
- The host often gives a speech before leading a toast with geon-bae (건배; “dry glass”). Everyone raises their glass, and you’re expected to drink it in one go.
The One-Shot Rule:
- You might hear weon-shot (원샷; “one shot”)—a playful command to drink your glass in one gulp.

Eating Etiquette

Sharing is key:

Plates of banchan (반찬; side dishes) are communal. Use your chopsticks to take what you like.
If needed, use the upturned lid of your rice bowl as a temporary plate.

Key rules:

Pass food or items using two hands.
Never stick chopsticks vertically into rice—it’s a funerary gesture and considered bad luck.

Noraebang Time

If dinner goes well, the night may continue at a noraebang (노래방; private karaoke room). Accept the invitation—it’s a fun way to bond with your group.

Here’s what to expect:

Each room has a couch, a table, and a massive TV.
Grab the songbook, find the code for your favorite song, and belt it out.
More soju and beer may flow, so pace yourself!

Following these customs will help you blend in, enjoy the evening, and leave a positive impression. And when in doubt, just observe and follow the group’s lead!

Dress to Impress

In Korea, clothing is more than just a personal style—it’s a signal of your social standing. Hierarchies flow through every layer of society, and dressing professionally or neatly earns you greater respect.

Business Attire: Many men and women in cities wear tailored suits and dresses.
Personal Care: Skincare is a big deal. Beauty masks, moisturizers, and even skin whiteners are common staples.

Foreigners aren’t held to the same sartorial standards as locals, but understanding the norms can help you avoid standing out in a negative way.

No Shoes, Okay

Shoes are left at the door in traditional restaurants, motels, and many homes. This stems from a deep cultural connection to floors—spaces often used for sitting, eating, and sleeping.

Look for a designated area to remove your shoes before entering.
Keep socks clean and free of holes to avoid embarrassment.

Face Mask

Face masks are a common sight in Korea for two primary reasons:

Air Pollution: Fine dust, particularly in the spring, poses health risks. Many Koreans check pollution levels alongside weather forecasts and wear masks on bad air days.

Infectious Diseases: Korea has experienced pandemics like SARS, bird flu, and COVID-19. Masks are seen as polite and practical for preventing the spread of illness—and sometimes legally required during outbreaks.

Social Debts

In Korea, social bonds are strengthened through cycles of giving and receiving. Whether it’s splitting a check or attending a wedding, these unspoken systems of reciprocity affirm relationships.

Splitting the Check

Dining out often involves a two-step process: dinner followed by coffee.

One person usually pays for dinner, while the other covers the coffee shop bill.
This alternation creates a balance of giving and receiving, maintaining social harmony.

Most restaurants expect a single payer (often the host or senior person). Splitting the check is rare and can disrupt the flow of this system.

Marriage Economy

Korean weddings blend efficiency with tradition.

Ceremony: Lasting just 30 minutes, weddings are held in multi-story halls with pre-arranged lighting and music.
Buffet: Guests head to the buffet afterward. With multiple weddings happening simultaneously, it can get crowded but lively.

Instead of gifts, guests bring money—usually ₩50,000 ($50)—in an envelope. This system helps cover wedding costs but comes with a catch: you’ll be obligated to attend future weddings and bring money in return.

Gift Giving

When visiting someone’s home or thanking them for a service, small, thoughtful gifts go a long way.

Examples: A roll cake, fresh fruit, or a bottle of inexpensive spirits.
Budget: Keep it under ₩20,000 unless you’re aiming to impress.

Avoid:

Groups of Four: The number is considered unlucky.
Sharp Objects: Knives or scissors symbolize severing ties.
Red Ink: Names written in red are associated with death.